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[wicka]

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DOM

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[chokedout]

but say there are 2 hot people u like and they both wanna bang you at the same time
it's not about them looking the same it's them being hot to u

u banging anyone here you wanna 3some with?

[how did they get here from "did u punch iggy?"]

[wicka]

[ He doesn't know, but he's fighting for his life more now than if the topic hadn't changed— ]

Pretty sure I've been too busy scaring people off for anyone to even look at me like that Teddie

[chokedout]

besides me, apparently





you gotta stop hitting people
but like
idk

i'm kinda on your side with these last 2
(but oh my god iggy's pissy)

[wicka]

[ Teddie's on his side... doki ]

Good I hope he stays that way
But yea IDK
I'm seeing this old guy who's supposed to help me with my anger issues but like
I know it's not gonna work
Nothing ever works

[chokedout]

that's pretty good though
dont um
dont give up?
it might help this time

[wicka]

U think there's any hope for me?

[chokedout]

yeah, of course

[wicka]

[ Damn. One more person to disappoint. ]

This is stupid but
Sometimes it feels like a curse or something

[chokedout]

you know
i'm not a therapist or anything but

i don't think that's a bad way to look at it?

if you say it's a curse, it's kind of a way to think about it being something that's impacting you. not a part of you that's wrong or impacting others. you're just dealing with an extra card in your hand, making it more difficult than someone else who doesn't. if you're able to kind of isolate that as the cause... maybe you can find ways to alter how you respond to it bit by bit?

if it's a curse.... you may not be able to break it directly but you can probably like
do witchcraft back?? therapy witchcraft or something.

[wicka]

Yea
I guess

Just
Feels like everything's wrong with me sometimes
Like this isn't who I'm supposed to be
U know?
But I can't stop it

Like
Have u ever felt that ur life keeps happening without u really being in it

[ He hears the word 'crazy' in Iggy's voice. Is it in Teddie's head, too? ]

[chokedout]

Yeah, all the time
sometimes it's just stuff like i feel like my life was picked out for me? i don't have any actual choices. my parents got me work. schooling was just throwing $$ at anywhere that'd take me. no matter what i did, i couldn't change anything. rehab after rehab and... i dont know

there's something else too but
idk
do u really wanna hear how fucked up my head is when we're finally just kinda hitting a good groove together?

[wicka]

Yea
It fucking sucks
Can't wait to be free from all this shit

Tell me
Can't be more fucked up than mine

[chokedout]

i haven't told anyone this before
even when we were dating...

ever since i was a kid i would have these like. vivid dreams?
too vivid. they felt like realities. different ones where i was me, but not me
i started to think they were past lives or something
it really fucked with my head. i couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't
i saw so many therapists bc of my folks

it got better when i started using
hence
you know
🌟my issues🌟

[wicka]

Oh
I had no idea...

[ But it feels so familiar. Not just because he's struggled with his own sense of reality and self — it's like part of him knew without needing to be told. Must be why he's ready to accept it. ]

Can I ask u about those dreams?

[chokedout]

[let him just - get a drink. and a cig. and some coke in arm's reach.]

Yeah, sure
what do you wanna know

[wicka]

When u were dreaming about other lives
Were u always a person?
Or was there other stuff

[chokedout]

yeah
i was always... me? but not me
like i knew i was the same person but my face would change



once or twice i was even a girl??

idk

it felt like a whole lifetime in one night.
not a lot of it was good either
i felt like i was always being chased or smthn

[wicka]

[ ... it's not like his dreams, then. He isn't human in those. He's the one chasing after someone else. ]

That happens a lot I think
Feeling like ur being chased in a dream
But yea that feels like
A lot
What do u remember about being a girl?

[chokedout]

omg do u get the feeling too where you can't really run??

uhhh, a little bit about it?
i had nice tits

[wicka]

Not quite
It's more like I can't stop running
Does that make sense

Did u feel them

[ sorry dom is still a Dude ]

[chokedout]

dreams are so weird
it makes sense to me , yeah


... i mean yeah i guess
but it just felt like touching my tits now
unfortunately i dont remember it being horny
but the thought of u touching my girl tits is, however, horny

[wicka]

I know ur dreams messed u up a lot but
Do u think they were meant to mean something? At all?

Lol
Don't worry I already think your boy tits are hot

[ a thing he sure just said ]

[chokedout]

i dont know
trying to figure that out is what gave me a spiral
my mom and dad treated me like i was nuts
i mean they still do in a "you're a disgrace" kinda way after all the rehab
at some point it just became the insanity of an addict to them
and i guess that's what i wrote it off as too
what do you think?


ty btw. u can touch them any time u like

[wicka]

Ur parents are assholes
IDK
It's hard to talk about this stuff without feeling weird of dumb
Not like I've ever had a reason to believe dreams have meaning but sometimes...
It feels like they're too powerful to not?
U ever had a dream and later found out it was a real place? Somewhere u just forgot u'd been before randomly coming back up when u fell asleep?
It's really trippy
Hey
Maybe they're just telling us we actually should run away

[ Hah. ]

Hurry up then

[chokedout]

yeah they're assholes
even if they try to do the right thing (allegedly)

sometimes i have dreams about us that never happened
but i guess i've just been waiting to ask you about it
because i dont know anymore if it did

do u think we could actually run away?


i'm coming now. 2 secs