if you say it's a curse, it's kind of a way to think about it being something that's impacting you. not a part of you that's wrong or impacting others. you're just dealing with an extra card in your hand, making it more difficult than someone else who doesn't. if you're able to kind of isolate that as the cause... maybe you can find ways to alter how you respond to it bit by bit?
if it's a curse.... you may not be able to break it directly but you can probably like do witchcraft back?? therapy witchcraft or something.
Yeah, all the time sometimes it's just stuff like i feel like my life was picked out for me? i don't have any actual choices. my parents got me work. schooling was just throwing $$ at anywhere that'd take me. no matter what i did, i couldn't change anything. rehab after rehab and... i dont know
there's something else too but idk do u really wanna hear how fucked up my head is when we're finally just kinda hitting a good groove together?
i haven't told anyone this before even when we were dating...
ever since i was a kid i would have these like. vivid dreams? too vivid. they felt like realities. different ones where i was me, but not me i started to think they were past lives or something it really fucked with my head. i couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't i saw so many therapists bc of my folks
it got better when i started using hence you know 🌟my issues🌟
[ But it feels so familiar. Not just because he's struggled with his own sense of reality and self — it's like part of him knew without needing to be told. Must be why he's ready to accept it. ]
... i mean yeah i guess but it just felt like touching my tits now unfortunately i dont remember it being horny but the thought of u touching my girl tits is, however, horny
i dont know trying to figure that out is what gave me a spiral my mom and dad treated me like i was nuts i mean they still do in a "you're a disgrace" kinda way after all the rehab at some point it just became the insanity of an addict to them and i guess that's what i wrote it off as too what do you think?
Ur parents are assholes IDK It's hard to talk about this stuff without feeling weird of dumb Not like I've ever had a reason to believe dreams have meaning but sometimes... It feels like they're too powerful to not? U ever had a dream and later found out it was a real place? Somewhere u just forgot u'd been before randomly coming back up when u fell asleep? It's really trippy Hey Maybe they're just telling us we actually should run away
[ Dom stops responding; Teddie's exasperation is followed up by footsteps on gravel, then two hands covering his eyes from behind. They quickly fall to his shoulders instead, Dom stepping around with a grin. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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This is stupid but
Sometimes it feels like a curse or something
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i'm not a therapist or anything but
i don't think that's a bad way to look at it?
if you say it's a curse, it's kind of a way to think about it being something that's impacting you. not a part of you that's wrong or impacting others. you're just dealing with an extra card in your hand, making it more difficult than someone else who doesn't. if you're able to kind of isolate that as the cause... maybe you can find ways to alter how you respond to it bit by bit?
if it's a curse.... you may not be able to break it directly but you can probably like
do witchcraft back?? therapy witchcraft or something.
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I guess
Just
Feels like everything's wrong with me sometimes
Like this isn't who I'm supposed to be
U know?
But I can't stop it
Like
Have u ever felt that ur life keeps happening without u really being in it
[ He hears the word 'crazy' in Iggy's voice. Is it in Teddie's head, too? ]
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sometimes it's just stuff like i feel like my life was picked out for me? i don't have any actual choices. my parents got me work. schooling was just throwing $$ at anywhere that'd take me. no matter what i did, i couldn't change anything. rehab after rehab and... i dont know
there's something else too but
idk
do u really wanna hear how fucked up my head is when we're finally just kinda hitting a good groove together?
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It fucking sucks
Can't wait to be free from all this shit
Tell me
Can't be more fucked up than mine
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even when we were dating...
ever since i was a kid i would have these like. vivid dreams?
too vivid. they felt like realities. different ones where i was me, but not me
i started to think they were past lives or something
it really fucked with my head. i couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't
i saw so many therapists bc of my folks
it got better when i started using
hence
you know
🌟my issues🌟
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I had no idea...
[ But it feels so familiar. Not just because he's struggled with his own sense of reality and self — it's like part of him knew without needing to be told. Must be why he's ready to accept it. ]
Can I ask u about those dreams?
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Yeah, sure
what do you wanna know
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Were u always a person?
Or was there other stuff
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i was always... me? but not me
like i knew i was the same person but my face would change
once or twice i was even a girl??
idk
it felt like a whole lifetime in one night.
not a lot of it was good either
i felt like i was always being chased or smthn
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That happens a lot I think
Feeling like ur being chased in a dream
But yea that feels like
A lot
What do u remember about being a girl?
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uhhh, a little bit about it?
i had nice tits
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It's more like I can't stop running
Does that make sense
Did u feel them
[ sorry dom is still a Dude ]
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it makes sense to me , yeah
... i mean yeah i guess
but it just felt like touching my tits now
unfortunately i dont remember it being horny
but the thought of u touching my girl tits is, however, horny
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Do u think they were meant to mean something? At all?
Lol
Don't worry I already think your boy tits are hot
[ a thing he sure just said ]
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trying to figure that out is what gave me a spiral
my mom and dad treated me like i was nuts
i mean they still do in a "you're a disgrace" kinda way after all the rehab
at some point it just became the insanity of an addict to them
and i guess that's what i wrote it off as too
what do you think?
ty btw. u can touch them any time u like
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IDK
It's hard to talk about this stuff without feeling weird of dumb
Not like I've ever had a reason to believe dreams have meaning but sometimes...
It feels like they're too powerful to not?
U ever had a dream and later found out it was a real place? Somewhere u just forgot u'd been before randomly coming back up when u fell asleep?
It's really trippy
Hey
Maybe they're just telling us we actually should run away
[ Hah. ]
Hurry up then
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even if they try to do the right thing (allegedly)
sometimes i have dreams about us that never happened
but i guess i've just been waiting to ask you about it
because i dont know anymore if it did
do u think we could actually run away?
i'm coming now. 2 secs
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Just one more bad idea
But I'm not sure people would really give a fuck if I disappeared so
Might as well see what's out there
OK
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like remembering us at prom???
we so need a car
1 sec remaining, tell me when u can hear me
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Was it a cool one?
They've got a billion cars here
Bet we could just steal one
Waiting
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like something really good happened
[but rather than keep typing, Teddie whistles with his fingers - as he enters the maze.]
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Wish we could have had that
[ Not long after, Teddie is close enough to be heard. Dom puts his phone away, uses both hands to project his voice: ]
Marco!
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[Teddie's laugh is evident in the end of his call, as he moves a little quicker into the maze. He repeats the call a few times, exasperated because:]
I don't feel like I'm getting any closer!
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Really hope we aren't lost right now.
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🎀