[ Dom stops responding; Teddie's exasperation is followed up by footsteps on gravel, then two hands covering his eyes from behind. They quickly fall to his shoulders instead, Dom stepping around with a grin. ]
[Teddie lets out a little gasp, before turning around on the spot - launching his arms around Dom again. It feels right? It shouldn't, yet it does, so he doesn't let go. Not until he's put a kiss straight to his lips. It lingers before he peels back, giving a half-shrug.]
Worse places to be. Let me see your hand. Better or worse than before?
[ He kisses him back, keeps his hands around Teddie until he's peeling away, then looks down at the one he used to send Iggy to the floor. The skin is flushed, but barely. ]
[Said with true affection, before he leads Dom's hand up to his lips to kiss those knuckles gently. He then puts his mouth back on Dom's, sighing happily into the kiss. He doesn't let himself think about what kind of friend to Iggy this makes him - not right now. Not when... he's so wrapped up in Dom again.]
It's unfair how sexy it is when you beat people up, Domingos.
[ The kiss to his knuckles gives him a pleasant chill, followed by a kiss to the lips that he immediately and eagerly returns. Dom is smiling, so he's not quite flustered, but it's somewhere trying to make its presence known. ]
Yeah? [ He shouldn't be excited by that. It goes against everything everyone wants him to work on. ] Why's it sexy?
I don't know - it's like... you're dominant? Which I know is kinda fucked up, but... I don't know, I find people smoking cigarettes hot too. But I liked it a lot when you decked that guy who was bothering me... it's this weird feeling of having a protector.
[And all the hallmarks of a toxic relationship, buuuut...]
Weeee probably should try to keep it to one punch a month, at minimum.
[Teddie's at war with himself - he wants to lean into the things he knows are bad. Let himself take joy in the protective vibe Dom has, even at the expense of others. He wants to go head over heels for the guy again without weighing any of the cons from before. But there's this little voice in him protesting that it's different now. He's different. Dom's different. That it's okay to like these things, so long as they... keep track of what matters.]
I don't know how to say it other than to say it but. I - I want us to have another try? I know that's crazy and suicidal of me to say, maybe, but... I think we can make it work. Having time away and coming back together... I don't know, it feels better than last time, doesn't it? I'm able to see what's in front of us clearer now, it feels like. Able to see what I lost.
[ Piece by piece, Dom's expression falters, staring at Teddie in a way that makes him look young and vulnerable. He doesn't want to hear this — he wants to be with him, but to do that he has to acknowledge what they had and how bad it was. The urge to cover Teddie's mouth curls fingers into his palms instead, nostrils flared, brows knitted. ]
You're not worried we'll fight again?
[ The fineprint: that we'll be drunk and high and do something really stupid to each other? ]
[That's - just how it's going to be. They're not perfect people, no couple is - right? (Though he really can't imagine himself fighting with Mila but... they only just met, too. There's time for that relationship to get its bumps and bruises too.) And it'd be a foolish thing to think they wouldn't, or to hope they wouldn't. Because it'd be in denial of the truth:]
But when we do, we'll figure it out better than before. I'll try not to be too demanding, I'll listen more. I'll let you have time to cool off instead of trying to hound you into working it through right then and there.
[ He doesn't know why it's so hard to hear this when it's what he'd been hoping for. It just goes to show that Teddie, despite the front he puts on for so many people, is the mature one here, while Dom will act emotional all day and yet feel like he'd like to curl up and hide somewhere when this is the topic.
If only he could promise that he'd stop getting angry. Dom looks at the tattoo on his wrist, clasps it with the opposite hand. ]
I can try to, uhm. Not assume stuff. Anymore. Ask you questions when there's something I don't understand.
[ Anger management at work, kinda. The pause is uncomfortable. ]
… but I'm gonna be really shitty sometimes. I still get those days.
[ When he can't get out of bed. When he can't stand the sound of anyone's voice, when anything they might have to say is always wrong. When he's convinced everyone is against him, including the ones he loves. Teddie went through all that. ]
I'll tell you when it's happening, so… so you can stay away.
Tell me how I can help too, if I can. So I can stay, too.
[That's - one of the things he struggled with. He always felt like there was probably something more he could've done, leading him to feel useless. Reflecting on it, he always thought he must've been too demanding. He knows he should give Dom space and he plans to, but he also wants to find a way to exist there too, so it's not always a rigid off and on kind of thing.]
We'll work on figuring out when we're getting too heated. So we don't boil over. Deal?
[This is where Teddie feels a little guilty. He's always been the one reaching out to people, wanting the most from everyone around him - built so neatly for polygamy, though there have been times he's taken to narrowing himself down to one partner. But those memories are associated with something negative - someone negative - an ex that made it feel like suffering, made it feel like suppression. But he knows that he and Dom could've done it, maybe, back in the day. Maybe it would've helped, but...]
Yeah. I've got some stuff going on - there's a girl I really like. Then some hook ups. I could... I could stop the hook ups, if you wanted. But that relationship with the girl, that's... that's gotta stay.
[ It's a question that could've gone unasked — of course Teddie would be seeing others, he's always been the one who wanted them to be open — but the promise to communicate started there, with that clarification. Dom always hoped Teddie would decide that he was enough one day. That little spark of a fantasy is present here, then gone with a drop of disappointment, jealousy like two fingers putting out a candle.
(There was never a guarantee that Dom could handle being exclusive, either. It's mostly been the idea of being special.)
His nod is silent. Teddie didn't even say the girl's name. Maybe he doesn't want him to know. ]
No, yeah, I'm — I can keep seeing other people too. [ As if there's anyone. All he does is get drunk and fight. ] Just checking.
We can talk about it as we figure it out. If you want? Unless you don't want to talk about it, and we just - we keep that less transparent? I'm willing to tell you anything and everything. Because I think we could use that kind of openness to make it work again. But... I don't know. I'll be honest, I like watching you sock people who deserve it but I wanna make sure... that's not gonna happen to anyone who walks in between us.
[He swallows hard. Why does this feel so weird? He scratches at his forearm, eyes downcast.]
But I wanna be - be boyfriends. Not just - whatever. Is that okay?
[ And he's already letting his thoughts get away from him. You'll be the only one talking about it and I'll watch you meet and love someone new every fucking week.
He tells himself to stop. Reset. He reaches for Teddie's hand, prying it away from his forearm so they can hold each other. ]
[Teddie worries again that he's being selfish - that he's going to get carried away with it, wanting everything. Wanting everyone to love him because he doesn't know how to exist otherwise. He needs approval, but does he need it from everyone he sees? Can he find a way to be satisfied with the opinions of the people he loves most, and believe they mean it? (Someone once used to feed him lies and now he doubts himself. But who-)]
Mm, yeah. I can even introduce you, if you want... sometime.
[He squeezes Dom's hand.]
Her name's Mila? She's actually one of Iggy's friends, but... she's nice? I get this feeling like I know her even though I just met her. It's like... the weirdest feeling. Kind of like that feeling I would get from my dreams, y'know? But I don't remember her in any of them.
Mm, yeah - she sees other people too? We're close but pretty open.
[He knows it sounds contrasting but - it works? He rubs his thumb over Dom's knuckles, going up and down over them before his eyes flick up to meet gaze again. He feels shy, somehow. Like he really wants this to work out - and he does. He wants this... so much.]
Her family doesn't like me very much. So you guys have that in common already.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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like remembering us at prom???
we so need a car
1 sec remaining, tell me when u can hear me
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Was it a cool one?
They've got a billion cars here
Bet we could just steal one
Waiting
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like something really good happened
[but rather than keep typing, Teddie whistles with his fingers - as he enters the maze.]
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Wish we could have had that
[ Not long after, Teddie is close enough to be heard. Dom puts his phone away, uses both hands to project his voice: ]
Marco!
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[Teddie's laugh is evident in the end of his call, as he moves a little quicker into the maze. He repeats the call a few times, exasperated because:]
I don't feel like I'm getting any closer!
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Really hope we aren't lost right now.
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Worse places to be. Let me see your hand. Better or worse than before?
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It's fine. Barely even felt this one.
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[Said with true affection, before he leads Dom's hand up to his lips to kiss those knuckles gently. He then puts his mouth back on Dom's, sighing happily into the kiss. He doesn't let himself think about what kind of friend to Iggy this makes him - not right now. Not when... he's so wrapped up in Dom again.]
It's unfair how sexy it is when you beat people up, Domingos.
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Yeah? [ He shouldn't be excited by that. It goes against everything everyone wants him to work on. ] Why's it sexy?
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[And all the hallmarks of a toxic relationship, buuuut...]
Weeee probably should try to keep it to one punch a month, at minimum.
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At minimum.
[ Looking down, unsure of what to do with himself, Dom finds there's more he wants to say and, as usual, finds he has more trouble knowing how to. ]
… I like that. Everyone's always watching over me and telling me what I can't and can't do — it's. Nice to be the one protecting. You.
[ Is it fucked up that this is how he finally feels like he has control over something in his life? Absolutely. ]
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[Teddie's at war with himself - he wants to lean into the things he knows are bad. Let himself take joy in the protective vibe Dom has, even at the expense of others. He wants to go head over heels for the guy again without weighing any of the cons from before. But there's this little voice in him protesting that it's different now. He's different. Dom's different. That it's okay to like these things, so long as they... keep track of what matters.]
I don't know how to say it other than to say it but. I - I want us to have another try? I know that's crazy and suicidal of me to say, maybe, but... I think we can make it work. Having time away and coming back together... I don't know, it feels better than last time, doesn't it? I'm able to see what's in front of us clearer now, it feels like. Able to see what I lost.
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You're not worried we'll fight again?
[ The fineprint: that we'll be drunk and high and do something really stupid to each other? ]
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[That's - just how it's going to be. They're not perfect people, no couple is - right? (Though he really can't imagine himself fighting with Mila but... they only just met, too. There's time for that relationship to get its bumps and bruises too.) And it'd be a foolish thing to think they wouldn't, or to hope they wouldn't. Because it'd be in denial of the truth:]
But when we do, we'll figure it out better than before. I'll try not to be too demanding, I'll listen more. I'll let you have time to cool off instead of trying to hound you into working it through right then and there.
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If only he could promise that he'd stop getting angry. Dom looks at the tattoo on his wrist, clasps it with the opposite hand. ]
I can try to, uhm. Not assume stuff. Anymore. Ask you questions when there's something I don't understand.
[ Anger management at work, kinda. The pause is uncomfortable. ]
… but I'm gonna be really shitty sometimes. I still get those days.
[ When he can't get out of bed. When he can't stand the sound of anyone's voice, when anything they might have to say is always wrong. When he's convinced everyone is against him, including the ones he loves. Teddie went through all that. ]
I'll tell you when it's happening, so… so you can stay away.
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[That's - one of the things he struggled with. He always felt like there was probably something more he could've done, leading him to feel useless. Reflecting on it, he always thought he must've been too demanding. He knows he should give Dom space and he plans to, but he also wants to find a way to exist there too, so it's not always a rigid off and on kind of thing.]
We'll work on figuring out when we're getting too heated. So we don't boil over. Deal?
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It takes a moment. Dom thinks he might be scared, just not the kind that makes him lash out. It's because Teddie is giving him hope. ]
Deal.
[ A word that feels so heavy in his throat, plagued with what ifs. ]
Are you still seeing other people?
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Yeah. I've got some stuff going on - there's a girl I really like. Then some hook ups. I could... I could stop the hook ups, if you wanted. But that relationship with the girl, that's... that's gotta stay.
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(There was never a guarantee that Dom could handle being exclusive, either. It's mostly been the idea of being special.)
His nod is silent. Teddie didn't even say the girl's name. Maybe he doesn't want him to know. ]
No, yeah, I'm — I can keep seeing other people too. [ As if there's anyone. All he does is get drunk and fight. ] Just checking.
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[He swallows hard. Why does this feel so weird? He scratches at his forearm, eyes downcast.]
But I wanna be - be boyfriends. Not just - whatever. Is that okay?
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We should talk about that. Yeah.
[ And he's already letting his thoughts get away from him. You'll be the only one talking about it and I'll watch you meet and love someone new every fucking week.
He tells himself to stop. Reset. He reaches for Teddie's hand, prying it away from his forearm so they can hold each other. ]
So… who is she?
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Mm, yeah. I can even introduce you, if you want... sometime.
[He squeezes Dom's hand.]
Her name's Mila? She's actually one of Iggy's friends, but... she's nice? I get this feeling like I know her even though I just met her. It's like... the weirdest feeling. Kind of like that feeling I would get from my dreams, y'know? But I don't remember her in any of them.
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… Oh, boy. There's no way she's ever gonna approve of this. ]
That sounds nice. I mean, you said it's weird.
[ But it must be good, if Teddie wants to keep seeing her. ]
Is she gonna be okay with us?
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[He knows it sounds contrasting but - it works? He rubs his thumb over Dom's knuckles, going up and down over them before his eyes flick up to meet gaze again. He feels shy, somehow. Like he really wants this to work out - and he does. He wants this... so much.]
Her family doesn't like me very much. So you guys have that in common already.
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🎀