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[wicka]

welcome to the saltburnt network

domingos choi

@dom

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[wicka]

Then why did u come?

[mygoodsir]

Well to be honest, Domingos, I apparently am just stupid enough that I didn't learn my lesson the first time about going off into the unknown.

[wicka]

[ This one takes a while, debating whether to ask or not. ]

Even when that meant leaving Theo?

[mygoodsir]

Yes.

I had rather naively assumed we'd be back. Which, again, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson.

Do you miss him, too?

[wicka]

I do
A lot

Did he tell u we broke up

[mygoodsir]

Yes. He was terribly upset.

Was it my fault?

[wicka]

No
It was my fault

He wants to have more than one person
I thought I could handle it but I kept getting jealous and it made me angry

We kinda did stuff while everyone was gone but
I don't know if I'm just lying to myself

I miss being with him
But what if I get jealous again

[ Embarrassed after reading back that little ramble, ]

Sorry

[mygoodsir]

You've no reason to apologise.

I wish I had any insight. Nothing in my life prepared me for all of these relations; I am constantly baffled and unsure.

I think perhaps we all get jealous. I do.

[wicka]

U do?

What happens when u feel like that

[mygoodsir]

Yes.

I love people very much. But I am aware that if spouses were a thing, I would not be that to any of them. I am something else. Sometimes it bothers me.

When it does, I remind myself that I am lucky to know love at all. I died very alone, you see, and the years leading up to that were devoid of any romantic connection. So when I am jealous or petty I ask myself if I would rather feel so separate from others again.

Now, that does not mean it's the best way to handle such feelings. But it is what I do.

[wicka]

[ He didn't expect Harry to feel exactly what he did - the knowledge that if Theo ever had to choose one, it would never be him. That with each new relationship, Dom would be pushed further and further down. ]

It's weird
I did the opposite
I thought I would be better off alone than feeling that way

[mygoodsir]

Well, I am several years older. Being alone stopped being a novelty.

[wicka]

[ When is it going to stop for him? ]

I've been alone most of my life
I mean I have my moms
And I made some friends when I moved to the US
But IDK
I still feel alone a lot

[mygoodsir]

I understand. I was never very good at making friends.

[wicka]

Why not

[mygoodsir]

I've never been very good at social interactions. And most of my interests are rather boring to people.

[wicka]

Having weird interests doesn't mean ur bad at making friends
But yea I'm not great at social interactions either
A lot of people think I'm rude
Mostly adults

[mygoodsir]

I have a tendency to become over-excited about them and talk too much. It's considered rude and off-putting in my time.

I cannot speak to them, but I can say to me everyone is remarkably free from tact.

[wicka]

Sorry to hear that
Ur not wrong dude
And they talk about sex all the time

[mygoodsir]

It's alright. Here I've found people who don't mind so much.

They do! It's shocking.

[wicka]

It's pretty boring when they do that
Guess it's better than talking about death...

[mygoodsir]

Both natural functions, I suppose.

[wicka]

I guess

Hey
When this ends
Can we leave

[mygoodsir]

My dear boy I will be packed so very quickly.

[wicka]

OK
I'll pack my things too
And we can go back to Theo