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maybe suffering DOES build character?? still sucks, though. even if i feel like kinda a better person because of it all. still definitely did NOT like being caged and dying. 0/10 for me.

[the thought is – nice, almost sweet, and shauna turns it over gently in her mind for a moment.]

maybe? i mean, if i was the one who died and i could visit him i’d do it every night. he keeps getting older, in my dreams. like a whole person. sometimes we don’t even talk, we just sit outside and he plays with sticks and bugs and stuff. is that normal? for kids? or is my psyche like making stuff up. what's your dad do when he's in your dreams?

Yea That doesn't feel like it was real either Us burning It makes my chest hurt and heart go to fast but IDK It's like my brain can't reach back to it anymore Kinda like it did when my dad died That's cool I'm glad u have those dreams It's kinda weird because my dad is the same but I go back to being a kid Except not Like there's two of me One is watching the other is doing Guess that's just how memories work A lot of the times he takes me to a park back in Taipa It had some fountains on the front with a huge seagull statue And there's a beach in front of it with black sand I dream a lot about the lunar new year with him Like being out on the streets with the dragon and the lions dancing What's ur son's name?

pretty sure that’s like ptsd or something. there’s stuff i can’t remember clearly about being out there (there = the wilderness, but the commune too i guess?) i think it’s our brains protecting us. i used to get so mad i had them. like it wasn’t fair that the only time i got to see him wasn’t real. still not fair, but at least i get to see him. taipa? where’s that? sounds like he was fun. like, that he did fun stuff with you. i never named him. sometimes i think about names, like darcy or rochester or something. you won’t get that til you read the books, sorry. sometimes jack. jack a lot of times, actually. what’s your dad’s name?

I guess that makes sense Taipa is an island connected to Macau So it's a part of it Like Coloane is too Coloane is where we'd go to the pool I like those names actually Maybe one day u'll decide one and then u can call him in ur dreams My dad was Stanley he had a Chinese name but that's what everyone called him I have one too

ohhh, in china, i get it. is that where you grew up? or where you still live? or both? really? maybe you'll like the books too. i usually just call him "baby". "my baby". stuff like that. stanley lol that's such a dad name. what was it?

Oh Yea I was born there My moms and I moved to the US a couple of years ago My dad was Sai-On Mine is Siu Ming Let me know if u pick a name for ur baby?

oh wow did you want to? i didn't wanna move to the other side of town when my dad left but you know, didn't really have a choice. siu ming. cool. which do you like better? i mean, are you allowed to pick one? yeah. i'll tell you first, deal?

I didn't really want to no But I'm glad we moved I met my boyfriend and found a coven there Dom's fine No one really calls me Siu Ming

[ The last time he heard it was coming out of a zombie facsimile of his father, courtesy of the fucked up maze. ]

Deal Thanks for telling me all this stuff BTW Means a lot

oh okay cool what's that like? having a coven, i mean. ok thanks for telling me, though i mean it's cool. yeah, sure. you're a cool guy, dom.

It's really cool Kinda scary I guess It was the first time I was really getting to be a witch with others It's like u belong to something that no one else understands and it's just urs I guess u could say we were all friends anyway but there's more than that IDK how to really explain it We got to practice some magic stuff and do rituals and whatever Thanks Shauna Ur cool too I'm glad we got to meet properly After everything

i know it sounds kinda dumb but that's what the team felt like. when it was good, i mean. it felt like we were all part of something that was gonna last. i mean, it's soccer and not magic, but. kinda like that. yeah? me too. really glad.

That makes sense Like u guys exist in the same world as everybody else but they don't get to be in ur world It's nice Do u think that's what happened with us too? In October